Everything has its time. It is
perfect and beautiful if it occurs according to God’s time. Once, we were
children, teenagers, young professionals and so on. These changes tell us that
life is composed of phases. You cannot go to work if you are 4 years old. You
see, a child at 4 is incapable of performing clerical stuff or formulating a
marketing strategy. Can you imagine a toddler complaining how stressful it is
at work? Or how terrible his boss is? Similarly, it is not logical for a person
to spend his 25-year-old life watching Teletubbies do the ‘Big hugggg!’ At 20
years old, would you ask you mother to brush your teeth? We all understand this
because this is superficial. An understatement. So, let us dig far beneath the
surface.
Many young people do not really
comprehend these phases. No, I was not talking about the aforementioned
examples. Of course not.
There are events in our lives
that should occur within a specific phase. So here is my story. I was one of
those young people. I entered into a relationship when I was 18 years old. My
parents did not initially approve because I was young. Just like any other
normal parents, they wanted me to finish my studies first. But I was
persistent. I thought I knew everything. I believed I knew ‘love.’ The
relationship lasted for almost 6 years. If I had to describe it, I would say it
was a really good one. But it would have been great and beautiful if I had
chosen to obey my parents. I turned 24 years old this year. As I age, I
discover and understand more and more why papa and mama said no. Our parents are not exaggerating. They know. Mine were
right on so many levels and aspects. I was too young for love. Love at 18? Do
not get me wrong. Yes, it was love. But it was not the time for love. As corny
as it may sound, it was the time for books and school. The results of the
premature relationship? Broken relationships. At a young age, I had to go
through the repercussion of betrayal, friendship that turned sour, not knowing
what it was like to be single, among others. I completely moved past the single
life.
Another thing, I believe significant characters
and behaviors are being developed during the single stage. These behaviors and
characters are vital in a relationship that if we engage in a relationship too
early without having them developed, eventually, we will have a hard time
properly dealing with our partners. What will happen is this: while in the
relationship, we are developing important characters that should have been fully-fledged
at the time. It will just be trial and error to determine what will work. In
the process, you will just hurt yourselves and your partners.
Let us not leave out an important
topic. Lust. You know the devil is wily. Innocence added to prematurely
developed characters = perfect recipe for falling into the traps of the enemy. Young
people are very passionate. It is good but dangerous if not handled well. Young
people, this is your nature. This passion may be a curse when not used in the
proper situation. I have seen and experienced premature love/relationship. It is
absolutely a beautiful and perfect gift if entered into in God’s perfect time. If
you will notice, it is not absolute. It is conditional. Take note of the
qualification ‘if entered into in God’s perfect time.’ I know I am being
repetitive but I cannot stress it enough. We have to wait on God. Trust His
perfect timing. I have been there and after almost 6 years, I have chosen to be
single. I had to stop, go back where I left off. This is it. This is one of my
defining moments because it is the ONLY ME & ONLY GOD phase of my life. How
can it be wrong? Just like a timely relationship, being single is a beautiful
and perfect gift. Do not trust your heart because it is deceitful. Trust God’s
love for you. Do not be impetuous. This is not a joke that you can just drop
when you are done. If you are going to do it, here’s the caveat: It is
life-changing. Positive or negative? Well, only God knows.
