Challenge ACCEPTED!

"Siya may kasalanan, siya maunang mag sorry!"  (She's at fault, she should be the first one to say sorry)

The famous lines of the alleged victim. She tells her story to people as she hopes to collect their sympathy. "Ang sama naman pala. Oo nga. Dapat siya magsorry, siya ang dapat sisihin!" (That's bad. I agree. She should say sorry, she's the one to be blamed) is what she wants to hear. It is what WE want to hear. And sometimes? What we choose to hear.

I was sitting on a chair, my hand catching my chin, and gaping at my reflection at the hotel's big window. The rest of the family was busy prepping up because we were about to leave to grab some Greek dinner. By the way, we were celebrating our parents' 27th wedding anniversary. 

I was watching my father comb his hair when I asked me a question. "If the parents are at fault, should the children be the ones to initiate to say sorry and eradicate the gap?" 

I answered with a hard "YES!" 

"Even if I was the wronged party?" I debated. 

My final conclusion was, "More so!"

What? More so? What in the world was I thinking? And where in the world did that come from? Even though I was questioning my own answer, my stand was firm. So, yes. That was a hard and final MORE SO.

We made ourselves comfortable as we waited for the waiter to get our orders. Lamb Chops coming right up! During the conversation the family recalled many happy memories. Every one was savoring the great time as though there was only that moment to live forever. That was when I realized why it was a "more-so."

I understand that you were hurt. I understand that you were wronged. But understand that it is not a question of who the victim is. MORE SO, not a question of who is hurting. Every body is hurting. Nobody wished for it to happen but it happened. That makes every body a victim of the situation. Understand that it is not a question of who did what. MORE SO, not a question of whose actions damaged in a greater degree. Every body, in a way or another, even done in an unintentional manner, expressly or impliedly, said words to and on the other party that created a fierce pang of pain.

May we understand that initiating does not mean you are weak, MORE SO, that you are at fault. Being the first one to say sorry means you are strong and courageous enough to end the hurt. MORE SO, it means that you are being accountable for your words and actions and that you can set aside pride because you value relationships. Saying sorry is not letting the other party to freely stomp on your person but showing that you possess this hard-learned humility. Being the first person to say sorry defines you as a person and refusing to ask for the same makes you less of a person. Being the first one to say sorry is saying, "I may have said words and done actions that hurt you in any way, but intended or not, I want the both of us to start healing. I am choosing to save this relationship/clear the tension between us/create a friendly atmosphere." Stop victimizing yourself further. Do not risk the peace that you have for a desperate and inane moment. Do not let the hurt paralyze and blind you. The truth is you can always do something, and MORE SO, save something.

This is a challenge to every one, including me. Bear in mind that you do not have to be the "culprit" to qualify for this challenge. If there is someone that you think deserves a reach-out from you, now is the time to stretch your hand. I did accept the challenge and if truth be told, it was scary at first. Days before finishing this blog, I already had a person in mind. 2 days ago, I sent her a private message. The feeling was amazing, MORE SO, liberating.

And burp. That was a delicious dinner. My thoughts ended by the time we undressed the tasty Lamb Chop. It was now 100% bones and 0% meat. Off we went to the cinemas for The Avengers. 

May you all find the same grace I found as you go through this challenge. Hoping to hear from you all after this. ☺

Love,

Pat ♡