Dear Mon,
Remember the day when you saw me crying along the hallway near the stage of our school? We were on recess. You and a number of our classmates were seated around me. You were all asking, “Patrizia, bakit ka umiiyak?” The sun was scorching hot. Voices of the grade school pupils resonated. It was July. Was it July 11th? 28th? I can no longer recall.
Minutes before break time ended, from one of the people who surrounded me, a handkerchief was casually offered to me. Realizing what just happened, I looked at the person who gave it. Her hair was long and straight. She alternately smiled and furnished me with advices. It was you.
Break ended. We fell in line to prepare ourselves in going up for the next class. The teacher signaled go so the lines started to move. As we went up and left the area, deep within me, I sank with my thoughts. Georgene Jho Quicho was she. For the first time, I am admitting that I never expected that it was going to be you or, even, that you would do that to me. I mean, for four years, we had been in the same class and room. We did not share the same circle of friends at the time. We were classmates, but not really ‘friends.’ There was kindness in your smiles and words as I received the handkerchief to wipe and dry my tears.
Before the day ended, we finally exchanged cell phone numbers. Yes, it was just that day that we got each other’s digits.
I came home from school. I was tired, sad, and disappointed. Was it you who texted me first? Was it me? I can no longer recall. But all those things were the groundwork of our blossoming friendship. And yes, eventually, we became best of friends. Who knew, right?
For a moment, I unintentionally left my circle of friends. We went to the canteen (or wherever) side by side and sometimes, holding each other’s hand. We ate together. We sat beside each other except during English class, because MR (Ma’am Ruby) was strict about our seat plan. You wrote me letters. You surprised me with gifts. Oh, how they made my day! We laughed together, cried together, and smiled together… never alone, always together.
Before we parted ways, we embraced each other as if we would never see each other the next day. At night, before the day unfolded, we sent messages saying how important the other was, how much we loved each other, how much we missed each other, and how much we treasured our friendship. Asking was not necessary; we knew right then and there when one of us was hurting, was about to cry. You knew how hurt I was. I learned how fragile you were. I cherished the moments we spent just sharing our felicities, our sadness, our victories, our failures, our lives. They meant so much because it was like saying, “I am sharing this because you are my best friend. I trust you.” It was like laying ourselves bare and vulnerable without any stain of doubt, because we knew that even if our imperfections showed, we had faith that we were accepted by the other.
This was us.
But we have grown. Should I say apart? No, just ‘grown.’ There was a long hiatus between then and now. And during the seemingly incessant pause, we realized and learned things. At times, perhaps, we failed. Hurt each other. To some extent, we hated each other. I do not really know who faltered. Maybe...the both of us? We knew each other’s reasons but that was it. But through everything, I have learned that one cannot argue what the other should have done. Why? Well, because we differ. We have different perspectives. We have different solutions.
I now understand why the best lessons are learned the hard way. And that is because such lessons are for a lifetime. Losing my best friend rendered a priceless lesson, and that is ACCEPTANCE (such a simple word, yet, very hard to do).
Finally, I have accepted that you came.
Finally, I have accepted that we lost each other.
Finally, I have accepted that there was no point in blaming me, or you.
Finally, I have accepted that I just really had to accept.
Now, I have used what I have accepted to better myself. I found the missing piece to complete the puzzle. I have linked the scenes. You know what? God so purposely gave you the idea to offer your handkerchief. He intended for us to not be ‘friends’ before that day. Everything was designed so we could teach each other lessons to a certain extent that even if there could be persons to make us understand the same exact lessons, it would not equate such. Thank you, for I am now confident that I now know how to be a friend, the best friend. So many times I tried to persuade God in my prayers to bring you back as my best friend. But the answer was affirmatively negative. True, His thoughts are higher than our thoughts.
There is this person now that I consider as my best friend. At first, I was scared. Yes, I have been praying for it. But now that she came, it is different. Losing another valued person seems more imminent now than when God had not given her yet. But every time it scares me, I look back and see you. And then I say to myself, I will not let what this person taught me to be set aside and be made worthless.
Our time was short yet very much substantial. So, thank you. And if you do not mind, let me regard you as my best friend for the last time. Best friend, thank you for allowing God to use you in my life. Thank you for handing me your handkerchief. Thank you for holding my hands, Mon. Thank you for responding to God’s call.
You deserve a happy life, go live it.
Grateful,
Mon
