Love Life: Are You Ready?

Everything has its time. It is perfect and beautiful if it occurs according to God’s time. Once, we were children, teenagers, young professionals and so on. These changes tell us that life is composed of phases. You cannot go to work if you are 4 years old. You see, a child at 4 is incapable of performing clerical stuff or formulating a marketing strategy. Can you imagine a toddler complaining how stressful it is at work? Or how terrible his boss is? Similarly, it is not logical for a person to spend his 25-year-old life watching Teletubbies do the ‘Big hugggg!’ At 20 years old, would you ask you mother to brush your teeth? We all understand this because this is superficial. An understatement. So, let us dig far beneath the surface.

Many young people do not really comprehend these phases. No, I was not talking about the aforementioned examples. Of course not.

There are events in our lives that should occur within a specific phase. So here is my story. I was one of those young people. I entered into a relationship when I was 18 years old. My parents did not initially approve because I was young. Just like any other normal parents, they wanted me to finish my studies first. But I was persistent. I thought I knew everything. I believed I knew ‘love.’ The relationship lasted for almost 6 years. If I had to describe it, I would say it was a really good one. But it would have been great and beautiful if I had chosen to obey my parents. I turned 24 years old this year. As I age, I discover and understand more and more why papa and mama said no. Our parents are not exaggerating. They know. Mine were right on so many levels and aspects. I was too young for love. Love at 18? Do not get me wrong. Yes, it was love. But it was not the time for love. As corny as it may sound, it was the time for books and school. The results of the premature relationship? Broken relationships. At a young age, I had to go through the repercussion of betrayal, friendship that turned sour, not knowing what it was like to be single, among others. I completely moved past the single life.

Another thing, I believe significant characters and behaviors are being developed during the single stage. These behaviors and characters are vital in a relationship that if we engage in a relationship too early without having them developed, eventually, we will have a hard time properly dealing with our partners. What will happen is this: while in the relationship, we are developing important characters that should have been fully-fledged at the time. It will just be trial and error to determine what will work. In the process, you will just hurt yourselves and your partners.

Let us not leave out an important topic. Lust. You know the devil is wily. Innocence added to prematurely developed characters = perfect recipe for falling into the traps of the enemy. Young people are very passionate. It is good but dangerous if not handled well. Young people, this is your nature. This passion may be a curse when not used in the proper situation. I have seen and experienced premature love/relationship. It is absolutely a beautiful and perfect gift if entered into in God’s perfect time. If you will notice, it is not absolute. It is conditional. Take note of the qualification ‘if entered into in God’s perfect time.’ I know I am being repetitive but I cannot stress it enough. We have to wait on God. Trust His perfect timing. I have been there and after almost 6 years, I have chosen to be single. I had to stop, go back where I left off. This is it. This is one of my defining moments because it is the ONLY ME & ONLY GOD phase of my life. How can it be wrong? Just like a timely relationship, being single is a beautiful and perfect gift. Do not trust your heart because it is deceitful. Trust God’s love for you. Do not be impetuous. This is not a joke that you can just drop when you are done. If you are going to do it, here’s the caveat: It is life-changing. Positive or negative? Well, only God knows.