To the people who stayed despite the difficulties, the complexities, the ambiguities, the weaknesses, and tragedies, thank you very much.
To the people who came and walked a way, good-bye and until we meet again.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
It's About Who Came And Never Left
To the people who stayed despite the difficulties, the complexities, the ambiguities, the weaknesses, and tragedies, thank you very much.
To the people who came and walked a way, good-bye and until we meet again.
Broken
"WHY?"
You and I must have asked “why” countless times.
Why do we brand people as rich or poor?
Why are Africans dark-skinned and Americans fair-skinned?
Why does the most powerful person in a country allow wars?
And lastly, why did this happen to me?
Just every time we get knocked down by life’s setbacks, a high chance goes to ‘asking WHY.’ Agree? Agree. For the most of us, adverse results surface for getting caught off guard. And so the process initiates: WE DENY. WE HATE. WE ACCEPT.
We deny the oddity of the predicament. One averts his eyes from the truth because its light is unbelievably very clear and bright that it hurts those eyes. And then we hate. We hate the people behind the hurts in as much as we hate the plight. It’s true: Bitterness is the most natural response in the world. Your memory is like a DVD played through an LED flat screen, just playing and replaying that same old scene, and with each new showing there’s a whole new wave of anger. And then we eventually are prompted to accept. We accept that ‘it’ happened. We accept that we were betrayed. We accept that we were abused. We accept that we were abandoned. We accept that we failed. We accept that we are incapacitated. We accept that we will never be appreciated. We merely accept. So despite the recognition, the heyday of anger sprouts. This is the critical fall. People so invariably wait on this stage because they have faith that the arid condition shall, in due course, stall hurting after accepting. And so then we get STUCK deleteriously, and believe me, continue asking WHY.
Just today, I conversed with a dear friend. I am not new to her situation for it was what life used to strangle me. With an estimated distance of 12 inches, I was freely contemplating her. With the way she looked down, sobbed rather loudly, and told her stories, I could tell that her heart and soul were in grave pain. She just hit the brick wall. Closely witnessing how broken she was, I felt my heart deteriorating inside of me. And then I started mouthing words to tell my story. In the middle of my story-telling, God sent me an inkling that people should have encroached beyond the stage wherein acceptance comes about. There should be another stage, a phase in which we allow ourselves to use our personal experience to unload. And the weight that I shed off will be that broken person’s foot stool so that I can lightly give out my hand and so that she can allow herself to be reached out and touched. To learn that using my past as a tool to fix this broken person’s present felt like God has just lighted the bulb above my head.
Why Me?
Just maybe, you are currently questioning God, that out of the people in this vast world, he chose you to carry the burden. Or maybe, you are justifying to Him that you so do not deserve that disappointment per se. God did not point His finger at you while blindfolded. He did not throw a die so that if it gives even numbers it would be you. The Lord did not cast a curse on you so that tragedies would perpetually follow you. God did not have to do all those things because albeit the thought seems partial, you are the SO right and appropriate warrior to ‘win’ the battle. You, yes you, are the only piece for that certain space of the whole puzzle. Stop asking why. Because why rarely finds its answer. For every why, the answer is because, and for every because there’s another why. Instead, ask ‘who?’ The answer: God and You.
Why this kind?
Have you been there? Have you ever been disappointed by God? You expected an idyllic wonderland because you have been a good person. Or maybe you have made a mistake but a kind that is never worthy of this sort of chastisement. You may have or have not done something that defies the protocol, but you are exactly where God wants you to be just yet. Exactly. And I need you to comprehend that maybe, just maybe, this is the reason why you are in your dark place too. You may ask, “Why did God let this happen to me?” Cross out that question. Instead, ask yourself, “How can I use this for His glory and my good?” It’s the only question that brings healing.
In conclusion, asking why leads nowhere near the point. Realize that everything that has occurred prior to the taking place of the tragic chapter was part of God’s training program. And that that chapter is just an introduction to a beautiful story written by the hands of God. Never neglect that the process doesn’t end in accepting, because genuine healing starts when we use what we have accepted.
Bear in mind, you are HIS lifetime student. He loves you. <3>Agree? Agree.
2 Corinthians 1:3-6 (New American Standard Bible)
3. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
4. who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
5. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.
6. But if we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; or if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which is effective in the patient enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer;
You and I must have asked “why” countless times.
Why do we brand people as rich or poor?
Why are Africans dark-skinned and Americans fair-skinned?
Why does the most powerful person in a country allow wars?
And lastly, why did this happen to me?
Just every time we get knocked down by life’s setbacks, a high chance goes to ‘asking WHY.’ Agree? Agree. For the most of us, adverse results surface for getting caught off guard. And so the process initiates: WE DENY. WE HATE. WE ACCEPT.
We deny the oddity of the predicament. One averts his eyes from the truth because its light is unbelievably very clear and bright that it hurts those eyes. And then we hate. We hate the people behind the hurts in as much as we hate the plight. It’s true: Bitterness is the most natural response in the world. Your memory is like a DVD played through an LED flat screen, just playing and replaying that same old scene, and with each new showing there’s a whole new wave of anger. And then we eventually are prompted to accept. We accept that ‘it’ happened. We accept that we were betrayed. We accept that we were abused. We accept that we were abandoned. We accept that we failed. We accept that we are incapacitated. We accept that we will never be appreciated. We merely accept. So despite the recognition, the heyday of anger sprouts. This is the critical fall. People so invariably wait on this stage because they have faith that the arid condition shall, in due course, stall hurting after accepting. And so then we get STUCK deleteriously, and believe me, continue asking WHY.
Just today, I conversed with a dear friend. I am not new to her situation for it was what life used to strangle me. With an estimated distance of 12 inches, I was freely contemplating her. With the way she looked down, sobbed rather loudly, and told her stories, I could tell that her heart and soul were in grave pain. She just hit the brick wall. Closely witnessing how broken she was, I felt my heart deteriorating inside of me. And then I started mouthing words to tell my story. In the middle of my story-telling, God sent me an inkling that people should have encroached beyond the stage wherein acceptance comes about. There should be another stage, a phase in which we allow ourselves to use our personal experience to unload. And the weight that I shed off will be that broken person’s foot stool so that I can lightly give out my hand and so that she can allow herself to be reached out and touched. To learn that using my past as a tool to fix this broken person’s present felt like God has just lighted the bulb above my head.
Why Me?
Just maybe, you are currently questioning God, that out of the people in this vast world, he chose you to carry the burden. Or maybe, you are justifying to Him that you so do not deserve that disappointment per se. God did not point His finger at you while blindfolded. He did not throw a die so that if it gives even numbers it would be you. The Lord did not cast a curse on you so that tragedies would perpetually follow you. God did not have to do all those things because albeit the thought seems partial, you are the SO right and appropriate warrior to ‘win’ the battle. You, yes you, are the only piece for that certain space of the whole puzzle. Stop asking why. Because why rarely finds its answer. For every why, the answer is because, and for every because there’s another why. Instead, ask ‘who?’ The answer: God and You.
Why this kind?
Have you been there? Have you ever been disappointed by God? You expected an idyllic wonderland because you have been a good person. Or maybe you have made a mistake but a kind that is never worthy of this sort of chastisement. You may have or have not done something that defies the protocol, but you are exactly where God wants you to be just yet. Exactly. And I need you to comprehend that maybe, just maybe, this is the reason why you are in your dark place too. You may ask, “Why did God let this happen to me?” Cross out that question. Instead, ask yourself, “How can I use this for His glory and my good?” It’s the only question that brings healing.
In conclusion, asking why leads nowhere near the point. Realize that everything that has occurred prior to the taking place of the tragic chapter was part of God’s training program. And that that chapter is just an introduction to a beautiful story written by the hands of God. Never neglect that the process doesn’t end in accepting, because genuine healing starts when we use what we have accepted.
Bear in mind, you are HIS lifetime student. He loves you. <3>Agree? Agree.
2 Corinthians 1:3-6 (New American Standard Bible)
3. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
4. who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
5. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.
6. But if we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; or if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which is effective in the patient enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer;
Keeps Me Wondering But...
Questions have been starting to bombard my mind...
How come...?
Why...?
What's wrong...?
I just don't understand things lately. I find it exceptionally hard to prevent myself from scrutinizing my prior and present actions. And, what makes it really REAAAALLLYYY confusing is that I did nothing wrong and I am not doing anything wrong. People obfuscate circumstances, more often than not.
However, it does not affect me anymore. Questions may have been starting to appear, but I do not take pleasure in finding the answers anymore. Because if you should answer all of those questions, your answers will no longer have weight. Why? Because I find myself not guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. Why? Because I have forgiven you wholeheartedly. Why? Because God has placed love in my heart for you. Why? Because that's what God does and that's who HE is.
So, you may find this annoying and all... But my friend, I am choosing to be used by God in your life (if He shall so desire). And please do not take this against you. Instead take this as a way of saying "no matter what you do or regardless of how you see me in your life, I will be a friend to you. And I am especially happy with that."
May God bless you, my friend. Take care. :D
Because We Are One Body
Growing up in a Christian family, I had the privilege to attend Sunday School. We were taught about Jesus, tithing, and biblical scriptures. And one of the things I fancied the most was singing songs, particularly, the BODY SONG. I got really really really really excited when my part came up…
"Hearing, hearing,
Small ears, hearing,
We don't, miss much,
Hearing all the time."
But everybody’s favorite part was, I believe, the Chorus part when we all held hands as we sang,
"We are the body of Christ,
We are the body of Christ,
Together bringing His love to the world."
Those lines never really mattered to me until last year. I have been harboring in my mind the idea of writing about the Body of Christ. But I have always felt “unworthy” to tackle in my blogs that subject. What do I know about it? Who am I to preach about the Body of Christ? I am but a 21-year-old lady who is imperfect as you are. I commit repugnant ways that hurt God. Many of my commissions displeased other Christians in a manner that if I decide to write about it, I will definitely defy the “walk-your-talk principle.”
But it is clear as day, if I continuously abstain from it, I will certainly never ever meet one of the purposes why God created me. So here I am, turning my back from shame and doing what God has put in my heart for a long time.
If it HURTS, then it MUST hurt. But please, bear with me.
Christians have always believed that we were set apart from the others. Ultimately, we were called to GLORIFY God. Consequently, we are bound to LOVE the UNLOVABLE, to make PEACE where there is CHAOS, and to choose JOY albeit the CIRCUMSTANCES. But we did LOSE the TRUE meaning of these things, didn't we? And unexpectedly, we lost them INSIDE the Body of Christ where they should emanate from. If one stared at the entire BODY from a distance, he would argue that it was not it because it did not look like it. More or less, the image constituted a DISASTER.
Who are we to preach about good things?
Who are we to stand in front of the mob and lead them in singing praise and worship songs?
Who are we to judge the ungodly?
Who are we to advise about forgiveness when we cannot forgive our brother or sister?
Who are we to pray for change?
Who are we to pray for our nation’s unity?
Who are we to claim that we are Christians?
WHEN YOU CAN FIND MORE BITTERNESS, HATRED, DIVISIONS, JUDGMENTS AND CHAOS THAN LOVE, PEACE, JOY and UNITY inside OUR very own NATION, the Body of Christ. Yes I know... I know.. "We are travelers of this world and our citizenship is in heaven." But do you think that we look like from up there? Because I think we look more like the natives of this world. If it hurts, then it must hurt.
If we continuously accept these, then we must be called HYPOCRITES. We pretend. We never mean what we do our say. If you are asking “why?” Then let me answer “why not?” WE ARE JUST LIKE ANY OTHER. If it hurts, then it must hurt.
WHO ARE WE TO CONTINUE BELIEVING THAT WE WERE “REALLY” SET APART WHEN THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHO WE ARE AND WHO WE ASSERT WE SHOULDN'T BE?
This is not to say that we should be without flaw.
This is not to say that we should stop serving God.
This is to say that we all have to work on more important things, forgetting that we came from different churches and heeding that we are all in one body.
This is not to say that I am coming from a church in which God’s presence manifests more.
This is not to say that your church is more superior than mine.
This is to say that we have ONE GOD who looks at us with equality.
Once again, will we put our pride down? Will we forget about hatred? Will we turn our backs from our differences?
If our answer is “NO,” then why have we accepted CHRIST in the first place? Or maybe, we just thought we have accepted CHRIST but the truth is, we haven’t.
Shake a Christian and ask, “WHAT DO WE THINK ARE WE DOING?”
Call me frank.
Call me anything you want.
But at the end of the day, I pray that WE will ALL realize that IT IS TIME.
Corinthians 12:2
The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ.
Countless times I attempted to do this. Only now it has been consummated.
In fact, I was halfway through when everything I typed was accidentally deleted.
Lord, speak unto us.
It's not about us. It's about HIM.
"Hearing, hearing,
Small ears, hearing,
We don't, miss much,
Hearing all the time."
But everybody’s favorite part was, I believe, the Chorus part when we all held hands as we sang,
"We are the body of Christ,
We are the body of Christ,
Together bringing His love to the world."
Those lines never really mattered to me until last year. I have been harboring in my mind the idea of writing about the Body of Christ. But I have always felt “unworthy” to tackle in my blogs that subject. What do I know about it? Who am I to preach about the Body of Christ? I am but a 21-year-old lady who is imperfect as you are. I commit repugnant ways that hurt God. Many of my commissions displeased other Christians in a manner that if I decide to write about it, I will definitely defy the “walk-your-talk principle.”
But it is clear as day, if I continuously abstain from it, I will certainly never ever meet one of the purposes why God created me. So here I am, turning my back from shame and doing what God has put in my heart for a long time.
If it HURTS, then it MUST hurt. But please, bear with me.
Christians have always believed that we were set apart from the others. Ultimately, we were called to GLORIFY God. Consequently, we are bound to LOVE the UNLOVABLE, to make PEACE where there is CHAOS, and to choose JOY albeit the CIRCUMSTANCES. But we did LOSE the TRUE meaning of these things, didn't we? And unexpectedly, we lost them INSIDE the Body of Christ where they should emanate from. If one stared at the entire BODY from a distance, he would argue that it was not it because it did not look like it. More or less, the image constituted a DISASTER.
Who are we to preach about good things?
Who are we to stand in front of the mob and lead them in singing praise and worship songs?
Who are we to judge the ungodly?
Who are we to advise about forgiveness when we cannot forgive our brother or sister?
Who are we to pray for change?
Who are we to pray for our nation’s unity?
Who are we to claim that we are Christians?
WHEN YOU CAN FIND MORE BITTERNESS, HATRED, DIVISIONS, JUDGMENTS AND CHAOS THAN LOVE, PEACE, JOY and UNITY inside OUR very own NATION, the Body of Christ. Yes I know... I know.. "We are travelers of this world and our citizenship is in heaven." But do you think that we look like from up there? Because I think we look more like the natives of this world. If it hurts, then it must hurt.
If we continuously accept these, then we must be called HYPOCRITES. We pretend. We never mean what we do our say. If you are asking “why?” Then let me answer “why not?” WE ARE JUST LIKE ANY OTHER. If it hurts, then it must hurt.
WHO ARE WE TO CONTINUE BELIEVING THAT WE WERE “REALLY” SET APART WHEN THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHO WE ARE AND WHO WE ASSERT WE SHOULDN'T BE?
This is not to say that we should be without flaw.
This is not to say that we should stop serving God.
This is to say that we all have to work on more important things, forgetting that we came from different churches and heeding that we are all in one body.
This is not to say that I am coming from a church in which God’s presence manifests more.
This is not to say that your church is more superior than mine.
This is to say that we have ONE GOD who looks at us with equality.
Once again, will we put our pride down? Will we forget about hatred? Will we turn our backs from our differences?
If our answer is “NO,” then why have we accepted CHRIST in the first place? Or maybe, we just thought we have accepted CHRIST but the truth is, we haven’t.
Shake a Christian and ask, “WHAT DO WE THINK ARE WE DOING?”
Call me frank.
Call me anything you want.
But at the end of the day, I pray that WE will ALL realize that IT IS TIME.
Corinthians 12:2
The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ.
Countless times I attempted to do this. Only now it has been consummated.
In fact, I was halfway through when everything I typed was accidentally deleted.
Lord, speak unto us.
It's not about us. It's about HIM.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Writing, Itself
I started writing during my senior year in High School। For the past four years, my pen and I have composed some works on God, love, friends, hurts, acceptance, Law school and the list can go on for a day। Just a few days ago, I was given the task to write just about anything. If truth be told, writing just about anything is as hard as searching for treasures without a clue where to commence the journey.
On a Sunday morning, I sat on a stool, meticulously rummaging in mind “the-just-about-anything” issues that could substantiate my essay. From a multitude of candidates, a very simple yet profound one topped them all – writing. After all, for this particular activity, what could be a better topic than the deed itself?
Writing is a witness to my life. It can testify to my felicities, frustrations, dreams, regrets, victories, failures, and secrets. To me, paper is an abode, pen is a companion, and words are a comfort. Hence, it has become one of my passions – something that robbed a room in my heart. Every day, I bear it in my heart just like how I tote every piece of my body and being when I go to school, church or wherever. It is an indispensable portion of who I am that without it, I can still go on, but life would be reduced to mere existence. In other words, I, without writing, am not me at all. A wave of relief always flows forth suddenly in great volume whenever I am reminded that I am capacitated to document feelings in every letter, images in every word, and life in every paper. It keeps me sound and grounded.
When I stroke my pen, I find satisfaction not because my work may be adorned, but mainly because I am convinced that I am safe in the secret place of writing. There is freedom from being mindful of how others will regard me because writing laughs and weeps for me. There is freedom by unlocking the doors of my emotions. There is freedom by giving a parcel of me to the world. I can freely let what is harbored inside permeate me and still uphold myself from the judgment of the critics. For I know that despite their verdict, caused by the obscurity of the words which I deliberately wrote, I am always enabled to see through what they mean – for they emanate from the intimacy of writing and my life.
As I epitomize my life through the art of writing, it reflects the very details of my being. By and by, I get to know myself more. And, if every day I write, then daily I meet an intrinsic attribute of myself that I have never come across or learned was even co-existing with the rest of what is known to me.
However, writing does not maintain a facade of an effortless work. Why? Well, as for me, writing is a battle between what I know and what I feel. Finding the most-fitting words, phrases, and sentences I know that are parallel to what I feel is finicky. It requires me to discard what I have on-hand and tap into the things that are exogenous and unfamiliar to suitably meet its demands. But believe me, flourishing in transforming life into words is a feeling that can only be experienced by prospering in doing the same. Why? Because it is a way employed to afford myself the privilege of keeping and sequestering a certain point of this life within the four walls of my paper. And for as long as there is life in me, I can relay life to them.
To bring this essay to an end, I would like to conclude that, in a few words writing is a gift. However, it is not just God’s gift to mankind, but also, mankind’s gift to this world and back to God. It is my system of providing for my generation’s legacy. Albeit what is written is my life, still, in my works, the past is embodied, the present is recognized, and the future is anticipated – which has come, is coming and shall come to pass.
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